


vent

by fvnwithgvns



Category: All Time Low (Band), Set It Off (Band)
Genre: Eating Disorders, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 10:24:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14042199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fvnwithgvns/pseuds/fvnwithgvns
Summary: i just wrote this to vent ignore it also huge tw don't read this





	vent

He didn’t know what to do.

 

The blade was there, right there, sitting encased in black plastic, secured with a screw, something so innocent in appearance yet deadly behind the scenes. 

 

His thoughts wouldn’t stop racing- his parents fighting, him and Rian breaking up, Jack leaving, just like Rian did, leaving for good and Zack, the only one left, struggling so much to stay alive. Treatment and hospitals and attempts and relapse and too much too much too many numbers and scales and calories he can’t do it anymore he can’t.

 

His parents are just in the other room but fuck it why does he even care anymore? He barely ever sees Zack anymore so he won’t find out and it’s not like he has friends at his new school. He’s practically flunking out of sophomore year because of all the hospitalizations and there’s no way Cody or Maxx want anything to do with him anymore, he’s a liar and a cheater and an all around awful human being, he doesn’t know how Cody can know everything he’s done and stay. Zack and Maxx don’t know and that’s the only reason they’re even somewhat still here.

 

He’s a failure, a mistake, born only to save his parents marriage. He couldn’t even do that. He couldn’t do the damn thing he was born to do.

 

He can’t breathe. He’s back in the parking lot and Eddie’s hands are rough on his hips and tight over his mouth and he can’t scream he can’t scream his mom is right there if he could just scream it would be okay but he  _ can’t fucking scream.  _ And it’s his fault anyway, it wasn’t real rape or molestation or whatever the fuck they’ve labeled it, it was his fault because as much as he didn’t want it and as disgusting as he felt after he was 14 and Eddie was 12, he said “Fine, whatever,” and let it happen. It was his fault. 

 

_ She her she her Alexandra she her daughter her daughter.  _

 

He picks up the pencil sharpener, unscrews the screw, and picks up the blade.

 

He gets to work on his hips, carving lines of bright red into the pale flesh.

 

He smiles.


End file.
